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This period marks a full decade since the word “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the decade since, seeking a partner has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive breakdown to the words gen Z is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the recent most popular memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is engaged or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies going for someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who forgo parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Personal habits indicating a prospective partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your choice to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that instantly kill any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {